Here are a few thoughts during the last month of my mom’s life on earth.
11/19/2019
Mom has been in the hospital for a few days. It started out as a UTI and then she developed VRE (Vancomycin Resistant Enterococcus), a blood infection. She’s received several doses of Zyvox which has been working. Today, at lunch time, mom made the decision to go home, to be on hospice, to stop all treatment. She is tired of fighting. It’s been a very hard day.
11/23/2019
I’ve had a chance to spend several days with my mom at home. We’ve been able to reminisce and just talk about all the things. She is at peace. She’s ready to be with the angels. I’ve envisioned Jesus having his arms open wide, ready to receive her in heaven. Today, we had a day of celebration at the house. Friends of my parents stopped by, David, Vicki, Taylor, and Noah came over, Jathan too. It was a beautiful day, where my mom was enjoying all the love surrounding her. I know everyone was hesitant but I knew that we needed to do something before she got too bad. Anthony got to spend time talking with my mom one-on-one. That is special for both of us, that he got to talk with her too.
11/29/2019
Today is the Freeland family reunion at my parents house! My mom has been looking forward to this day for so long. She’s wanted to get her entire family together for many years. Right before her diagnosis, the planning began to have the reunion at Beaver’s Bend in September. After her surgery in August, Aunt Patty made the ultimate decision to postpone until Thanksgiving time. Unfortunately my mom wasn’t feeling that great leading in to Thanksgiving. On the morning of the reunion, the hospice nurse stopped by the house + gave my mom liquid Ativan (after I told her multiple times throughout the week that this was a very special day, one that she’s been looking forward to for SO long). The unfortunate part about this is that Ativan knocks my mom completely out, so she was not able to participate in the reunion at all. One of the biggest issues I have with her hospice nurse is not truly listening to what we were wanting, especially on that day of all days.
12/12/2019
I went over to Shawnee today to be with mom. I had a pretty strong feeling that I should take a pregnancy test so that I could tell my mom the news. Sure enough I’m indeed pregnant! I wish more than anything that I had set up my phone to record me telling her, but it was all a bit rushed. I was about to give her some medicine and I pounced on the moment. Oh my, her excitement level was off the charts when I told her. She put her arms in the air, said “Yay” and started crying with me. She is thrilled that we are having another child!
I spent at least once a week day + one weekend day in Shawnee those last few weeks. I had a gut feeling that she wasn’t going to last long, so I had to take advantage while I could. I recorded lots of our conversations on my phone, for that day when I absolutely need to hear her voice. It’s all too raw right now, but I’m thankful I have them for when that time comes.
My mom spent her final weeks saying her goodbyes to many people, taking communion, saying the rosary, planning her funeral service. She is one classy lady, showing us all how to die with dignity + compassion.
