On December 22, 2019, early in the morning, my mom took her last breath, surrounded by my dad + my Aunt Carolyn. My mom waited for everyone to be out of her house – the dogs, the boys, my brothers, before she left this earth. She wanted peace.
Throughout my mom’s journey, my phone was by our bedside long after I didn’t need it anymore (no longer getting up in the middle of the night with Emery!). I would wake every morning a bit fearful of what I’d find on my home screen, especially the last few weeks. My dad called around 2:15am to let me know she was no longer with us. I didn’t know he called (phone was on silent), but Baxter started whining around 2:30am. He knew + wanted me to be aware. I will forever be grateful for him, for his “warning” then his desire to not leave my side.
In the morning, we drove to Shawnee to be with my dad. To give him support + help him in any way that he needed. I didn’t realize that we would be heading to the funeral home to make arrangements, but Mark, Eric, my dad, + I did. We got to see her body, she had such a beautiful smirk on her face!
Christmas Eve has always been the Nicklas holiday. I had no idea how I would make it through the day, without my mom at the table with us. Christmas Eve morning I woke up feeling incredibly crummy – nauseous, fatigued, body aches. I rallied to attend Mass, but then came back to my parents house + crashed w/Emery in my parents bed. Come to find out, it was a bit of morning sickness mixed in with my body finally giving in to the exhaustion I felt for the weeks leading up to my mom’s passing. I felt terrible that I wasn’t able to participate in Christmas dinner, but it was a blessing in disguise that I didn’t feel well. Everyone went around the table telling their favorite memories of my mom. I’m appreciative of Anthony being there + having the foresight to record the memories. I’m not sure when I’ll be up for watching them, but I’m thankful to know they exist on his phone!
Mom’s funeral service was on Friday, December 27th. St. Benedict’s was packed to the brim of all the people that loved her + love her family. I had co-workers from the Y attend, people I attended high school with, my dad’s cousins, Anthony’s family (David, Vicki, Noah, Taylor, Grandmother, Aunt Sue, Aunt Debbie), customers of my dad’s pharmacy, long time friends, priests from the diocese, brothers from the Abbey, + a whole slew of others. I didn’t even get to see many of them, but reading through the guest book brought me tears. My mom was absolutely loved.
After the funeral + luncheon at the church, we drove up to Resurrection Cemetery in OKC to lay her to body to rest. It was a cold, blistery December day with the sun peaking out every once in awhile. Father Don Wolf gave the final blessing before her body was lowered.
I am thankful that my dad had his two sisters + two brothers by his side, while his mom, dad, + other brother are buried right below where we were standing. It’s special that my mom wanted to be buried near his family – they took her in + accepted her as their family.
Rest in peace, Sassy! We love you, we miss you, + you are always on our minds.
